Look at the world around you

Remember to remember me, forget to forget me. Even if you try to remember to forget me, I’ll never forget to remember to remind you to remember me.

An Appraisal discussion: Manager: This is your revised salary, keep it confidential. Employee: Don’t worry, I am equally ashamed of it!

A girl returned home from a party and told her mother a young man had kissed her. How many times did he kiss you? asked her mother. Looking up into his face, the girl replied: Mother, I came to confess, not to boast!

Everything about you is perfect – your lips, your skin, your eyes, your body. Perfect! You are lucky to be born beautiful, not like me, who was born to be a big liar.

Superb thought. For every idiot there is an equal and opposite idiot. They are called husband and wife.

A retired sergeant was asked: Well, how do you like civilian life? Terrible, he said gruffly, all those people around and nobody in charge!