Give a man a fish and he

A girl was driving in her new car when something went wrong with the engine. The traffic light changed from green to red and back to green and still she could not get the car to budge. The traffic cop came up. What’s the matter, miss? he inquired. Aren’t we got colors you like?

Doctor, cut off my dog’s tail. Doctor: Why do you want to do that? Because my mom-in-law is visiting us and I don’t want anything to make her think she’s welcomed.

The best gifts to be given: To a Friend-Honesty, To an Enemy-Forgiveness, To Parents-Gratefulness, To God-your Life, To me- your Sony Vaio, iPhone, Car, etc. etc.

Modern day break up: Girl: I wanna break up with you. Boy: Why?. Girl: because you didn’t comment on my picture.

A hotel guest to the manager, Does the water always come through the roof like that? Manager: No, sir, only when it rains!

Woman has man in it, Mrs has Mr in it, female has male in it, Madam has adam in it, so girls are always incomplete without boys.