Customer: There is only one piece of meat

I hate when people tell me to relax. If it was that easy, don’t you think I would have done that already?

Sign on a famous beauty parlour : Don’t whistle at the girl going out from here. She may be your grandmother!

Q: What’s the difference between good and bad girls? A: Good girls loosen a few buttons when its hot, bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons!

The first half of our lives is spent ignoring our parents’ advice and the second half in trying to keep our children from ignoring ours.

It’s wrong that Alcohol makes you fat… It doesn’t! It actually makes you LEAN… against bars, poles, walls, friends and strangers! Cheers!

People who do lots of work..make lots of mistakes, People who do less work..make less mistakes, People who do no work..make no mistakes, People who make no mistakes..get promoted.