Difference between Truth and Lie

I prefer not to think before I speak. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age, But will kill you if you forget their birthday!

Love me, and I will move mountains to make you happy. Hurt me, and I’ll drop those mountains on your head.

A newly wedded desperate soldier sends a hand-grenade to his mother-in-law, with a note: Dearest Mom, If you pull this ring, I’ll be able to get 3 days leave.

I want you to be with me in a nice restaurant to have Candle Light Dinner and say those three sweet words to you….Pay The Bill.

Mom: Andy, where are you off to now? Son: I’m gonna join the army. Mom: But, legally you are only an infant. Son: That’s all right, I’m going to join the infantry.