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Father to Son: Success is when Signature turns into Autograph. Son: No Dad, Success is when Signature turns into Black Label or Chivas Regal.

I’m getting tired of writing Sent from my iPhone at the end of all my e-mails. Maybe I should just . .. … …. get an iPhone!

Height of insult: Girl messages her boyfriend: I can’t live without you. Will you marry me??? Reply comes: Who’s this? I lost all my contacts.

When you feel lonely and alone and cannot see any one around you, the world seems to be fading away, come along with me I’ll take you to an eye specialist!

If you don’t do stupid things while You are young, you’ll have nothing to smile about when You are old.

Like energy, love can neither be created nor destroyed. It can just be transferred from one girlfriend to another girlfriend.