Height of insult

The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut!

The girl’s father inquired of his prospective son-in-law, Do you drink? The smart boy retorted, Sir, first tell me whether it is a question or an invitation?

What is the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu? For Bird Flu you need tweetment and for Swine Flu you need oinkment.

The sergeant-major yelled, Private Philip, I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning! Philip replied, Thank you, sir.

Everybody talks about finding the one that makes their heart skip a beat. But I’m not looking to develop a heart problem.

Life is full of beautiful things: soft sunsets, painted rainbows, delicate blossoms, love and laughter, quiet moments and fantastic people like me. Enjoy it!