I don’t want to lose a friend

I didn’t do well in my board exams because my dad always said, Sometimes a person has to fail in life in order to succeed!

Life is a paradox-what you want you don’t get (love), what you get, you don’t enjoy (marriage), what you enjoy is not permanent (girlfriend), what is permanent is boring (wife).

Man meets friend and notices he’s wearing an earring. When did you start wearing earrings? Friend: Ever since my wife found it in my car.

Why is there an ‘Eject’ button on the DVD remote? In any case, one still has to get up and take the disc out. It’s like having a remote to open the fridge!

A retired sergeant was asked: Well, how do you like civilian life? Terrible, he said gruffly, all those people around and nobody in charge!

Mom: At what time did you go to bed last night? Child: Please never ask me again to disclose confidential information!