If anyone is having a bad day

Fantastic message by a son-in-law: Dear Mother-in-law, Don’t teach me how to handle my children, I m living with one of yours and she needs a lot of improvement

The boss went up to the bartender and asked, Have you been fooling around with the waitress? Oh no, sir, I sure haven’t, replied the bartender. The boss replied, Good, then you fire her!

Waitress, shouted the impatient diner, Do I have to sit here and starve all night? Waiter: No Sir, we close at 9 o’clock.

Acquaintance: So have you sold anything since you took up writing full-time? Writer: Yes. My car, the TV and a couple of items of jewellery…

Q: Which boy has the permission to get into a girls’ bathroom and touch her anywhere he likes? A: Lifebuoy.

I come up with my best jokes during exams. Their giving less marks is a concrete proof that the markers have no sense of humour.