Millions of gallons of alcohol is left

If I ever go for a brain transplant I’d like to use your brain. It’s not because you are a genius. I would only like a brain that has never been used.

Ladies….it is okay to wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime have some fun with the wrong ones.

I tried exercise but I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. I realised it is very dangerous.

Heart: I’m going on emotional strike. I’ll no longer produce any feelings without proper compensation.

I said to a fat girl today, You are a big girl! She replied, Tell me something I don’t know. I said, Salad tastes good.

Commerce joke: Do you know why in a couple’s photo man is on the right side and woman on the left? Because as per balance sheet liabilities are on left side and assets on right!