The boss went up to the bartender

A guy just yelled at me for texting and driving. I told him to get off my hood and mind his own business.

At 18 a lady is like a football, 22 men behind her, at 28 a basketball, 10 men behind her, at 38 a golf ball, 1 man behind her, at 48 a TT ball, 1 man pushing her to the other.

How could a mere tap on the shoulder startle you so? demanded the customer angrily. I am sorry, replied the taxi driver, I have recently started driving a taxi. For years I used to drive a funeral van.

If Pepsodent toothpaste kills 99.9% of germs what does Pepsodent Sensitive do? It kills 99.9% of germs, without hurting their feelings!

Q: How do you know when a woman is going to say something intelligent? A: When she starts her sentence with, ‘My husband told me.’

Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming to her husband: Darling, Come quick! your kids and my kids are beating our kids.