A brain walks into a bar and says, I’ll have a pint of beer please. The barman looks at him and says, Sorry, I can’t serve you. Why not?, asks the brain. The barman retorts, Because you’re already out of your head.
A newly wedded desperate soldier sends a hand-grenade to his mother-in-law, with a note: Dearest Mom, If you pull this ring, I’ll be able to get 3 days leave.