When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart, when tears flow in your eyes, always remember three things: I’m with you, you have money and Bar is open
Alcohol contain female hormones. Proof: Men gain weight, talk unnecessarily, become extra emotional and stupid, start fighting without any reason.
A firefighter addressing the High School students. Firefighter: Do you know how to save five drowning lawyers? Students: No. Firefighter: Good!
Boy: Are You Single? Girl: No, I’m Plural. Boy: No, I mean, are you free this Friday? Girl: No, I’m expensive!
Never get jealous when seeing your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend with another person. Remember we were taught to give our old toys and clothes to the less fortunate.
At a railway station, a beggar meets another beggar while a software engineer meets another software engineer. Both of them ask the same question to each other, ‘So, which platform are you working on?’
A guy just yelled at me for texting and driving. I told him to get off my hood and mind his own business.