When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart, when tears flow in your eyes, always remember three things: I’m with you, you have money and Bar is open
A rabbit runs and jumps and lives only for 15 years. A turtle doesn’t run, does nothing, yet lives for 100 years. Moral: Exercise is hell! Just sleep well!
A blonde was riding on a train and reading the newspaper. The headline said: 12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed. She shook her head at the sad news, then turned to the passenger next to her and asked: How many is a brazilian?
A Guy picks up a girl for the date. Why are you wearing your belt around your knee.? Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn’t let you touch me below my belt.
Nurse: Doctor, the man You have just treated collapsed on the front step what should I do? Doctor: Turn him around so it looks like he was just arriving!
