When your ex says

First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to zip up your fly, and then you forget to unzip your fly.

Doctor, cut off my dog’s tail. Doctor: Why do you want to do that? Because my mom-in-law is visiting us and I don’t want anything to make her think she’s welcomed.

In a class room. Girl: Who gets more angry, boys or girls? Boy: Girls. Girl: How? Boy: If I kiss you, you’ll get angry, But when you kiss me, I’ll never get angry.

Remember these two words, it will open many doors in life. . .. … …. 1. Push 2. Pull Impressed? You see I’m born genius!

There are four animal species a woman needs in her life: Jaguar in her garage, mink in her closet, tiger in her bed and of course a donkey to pay her bills!!

Every year millions of gallons of alcohol is left behind in bars. Before you leave, you must finish it. Drink Responsibly!