A wife was screaming at her husband, Leave! Get out of this house! she ordered.
As husband was walking out the door she yelled, I hope you die a slow and painful death!
He stopped, turned around and replied So now you want me to stay?
Husband standing on the scale, holding his stomach in. Wife: I do not think that is going to help. Husband: Sure it does. How else could I see the numbers?
Once a man asked God, Why all girls are so sweet and all wives are horrible and bitter? God answered, Because girls are made by me but wives are made by you!
Two men are talking. 1st: I got married because I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry and wearing shabby clothes. 2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons!
A successful marriage is based on give and take: Where husband gives money, gifts, dresses and wife takes it, And whereas wife gives advices, lectures,Tensions and husband takes it!
