Four eyes to keep a pretty wife

A girl was driving in her new car when something went wrong with the engine. The traffic light changed from green to red and back to green and still she could not get the car to budge. The traffic cop came up. What’s the matter, miss? he inquired. Aren’t we got colors you like?

How do you identify a true music lover? A man when hears a woman singing in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole instead of his eye!

Doctor: You are in good health. You’ll live to be 80. Patient: But doctor, I am 80 right now. Doctor: See, what did I tell you.

Scientists discovered that beer contains female hormones. To prove this, they gave 3 men 12 pints. Suddenly they talked shit, gained weight and couldn’t drive.

A little girl was frantically praying in the Church: Oh God! Please make Moscow the Capital of China! The priest enquired: Why must you pray so, my child? Girl: That’s what I have written in my answer sheet in the examination!

So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow and sure!