Formulas must be on your finger

Grandpa to grandkid: Go hide, you bunked school today. Your teacher is here. Grandkid: You go and hide, I told him you expired.

A newly wedded desperate soldier sends a hand-grenade to his mother-in-law, with a note: Dearest Mom, If you pull this ring, I’ll be able to get 3 days leave.

I hate it when people point to their wrists to ask for the time! I mean, seriously, do I point to my crotch when I need to go to a Restroom?

I am scared of people who study a lot, They have so much of information stored in their brains that there is no space left for common sense.

If Pepsodent toothpaste kills 99.9% of germs what does Pepsodent Sensitive do? It kills 99.9% of germs, without hurting their feelings!

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that she looks extremely beautiful when her lips are closed !