Marriage

MARRIAGE is just a fancy word for adopting an over-grown female child who can’t be handled by her parents anymore.

Have you heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles? He’s now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel to the crocodiles.

Wives are never wrong… It’s just that sometimes they are rude, confused, senseless, emotionless, unchangeable, crazy, stupid, idiot and even mad. But never ever they’re wrong !

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

Q: Why do women live longer than men? A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

If you are single, remember good things come to people who wait. If you are settled, then settlement is what you get from a separation.

In many countries, a hunting license entitles you to one deer and no more. Just like a marriage license!

If you never want to see a man again, say: I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children – they leave skid marks.

There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it

Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either your money or life… The wives want both!