Pray to God so you can live

Why is there an ‘Eject’ button on the DVD remote? In any case, one still has to get up and take the disc out. It’s like having a remote to open the fridge!

Two goldfish in a bowl talking: Goldfish 1: Do you believe in God? Goldfish 2: Of course, I do! Who do you think changes the water?

American Lifestyle: Daughter: Sorry Dad, I got married yesterday. Forgot to invite you. Dad: You naughty girl! It’s OK but don’t forget me next time!

Did you hear about the crossword puzzle addict who died and was buried six feet down and three feet across!

Q: What happens to a lawyer who jumps out of a plane at 35,000 feet without a parachute? A: Who cares?

Height of Job Satisfaction: A young man got a job in a girls hostel. After two months, the Principal asked, Why didn’t you draw your salary? Man: Oh my God! There’s salary also?