Every organisation is like a tree full of monkeys. Ones at the top can only see monkeys below them and ones at the bottom see only assholes above them.
He was a good man. He never smoked, drank and had no affair. When he died, the insurance company refused the claim. They said, he who never lived, cannot die!
How could a mere tap on the shoulder startle you so? demanded the customer angrily. I am sorry, replied the taxi driver, I have recently started driving a taxi. For years I used to drive a funeral van.
A girl returned home from a party and told her mother a young man had kissed her. How many times did he kiss you? asked her mother. Looking up into his face, the girl replied: Mother, I came to confess, not to boast!