Pay attention during the applause

It’s difficult to understand God, He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into wives!

I prefer not to think before I speak. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

They say so many people die because of alcohol.. Perhaps they never realized how many of them are born because of it.

A guy went for an interview at a big IT company today for the position of a Computer Hacker. The boss asked him, So, what makes you suitable for this job? Well, he replied, I hacked into your computer and invited myself to this interview!

It’s wrong that Alcohol makes you fat… It doesn’t! It actually makes you LEAN… against bars, poles, walls, friends and strangers! Cheers!

Examiner: Why did you write the formula in your hand? Student: Because my teacher said, ‘Formulas must be on your finger tips’.