What? I am an ‘Alcoholic’. Sorry, the word ‘Alcoholic’ is not in my Vodkabulary, maybe I should go look it up on Whiskypedia!
Boy: Mom, please give me a glass of water. Mom: You come and drink it yourself. Boy: Please Mom… Mom: If you repeat, I’ll slap you. Boy: When you come to slap me, bring water for me!
How could a mere tap on the shoulder startle you so? demanded the customer angrily. I am sorry, replied the taxi driver, I have recently started driving a taxi. For years I used to drive a funeral van.
Boss: Since the day I fired you, why the hell do you shit in front of my house every morning? Servant: Boss, I just wanna show you that I am not dying hungry!
Why do girls look beautiful? Is it real or due to make-up? All false, girls look beautiful because boys have good imagination.
How do you know when kids start to grow up? Girls grow up when they start to put lipstick and boys grow up when they start to wipe it off!
Two goldfish in a bowl talking: Goldfish 1: Do you believe in God? Goldfish 2: Of course, I do! Who do you think changes the water?