I’m getting tired of writing

Unlike others your brain is a masterpiece. In the left half, nothing is right and in the right half, nothing is left.

Customer: There is only one piece of meat in my plate. Waiter: Don’t worry, Sir! I will cut it in two.

It’s wrong that Alcohol makes you fat… It doesn’t! It actually makes you LEAN… against bars, poles, walls, friends and strangers! Cheers!

What happened to your network? I tried to call you but the operator said Welcome to the jungle, the monkey you are trying to call is on the tree….please try later.

Come, work for the Lord.The work is hard, the hours long and the pay is low.But the retirement benefits are out of this world.

When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart, when tears flow in your eyes, always remember three things: I’m with you, you have money and Bar is open