I’m going on emotional strike

Father to Son: Success is when Signature turns into Autograph. Son: No Dad, Success is when Signature turns into Black Label or Chivas Regal.

At a party, someone yelled: All married guys please stand next to one person who has made your life worth living. The bartender was almost crushed to death.

What happened to your network? I tried to call you but the operator said Welcome to the jungle, the monkey you are trying to call is on the tree….please try later.

Don’t waste time thinking about your past or future. Better kill some mosquitoes so that you can sleep better!

If you don’t do stupid things while You are young, you’ll have nothing to smile about when You are old.

Girl’s status on Facebook: ‘Feeling sad!’ 17021 comments. Boy’s status: ‘Going to commit suicide!’ 2 likes and 1 comment – Think about it dude…. Drop the plan, if you can!