A ‘Bullet’ may have your name on it

I am on a light diet: I eat in daylight I eat in moonlight And sometimes, I eat in refrigerator light!

I said to a fat girl today, You are a big girl! She replied, Tell me something I don’t know. I said, Salad tastes good.

A women’s prayer: Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man, Love to forgive him and Patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I’ll beat him to death!

When asked if he was prepared to support a family, the new son-in-law answered, ‘I’m sorry, I was only planning on providing for your daughter. The rest of you will have to support yourselves.’

What is love? In Math, it’s a problem. In History, it’s a battle. In Science, it’s a reaction. In Art, it’s a heart.

A software engineer was smoking. Girl: Didnt you see the warning? Smoking is injurious to health. Er.: We bother only about errors and not warnings.