Roses are red, Violets are red

A blonde was riding on a train and reading the newspaper. The headline said: 12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed. She shook her head at the sad news, then turned to the passenger next to her and asked: How many is a brazilian?

A solicitor is reading out his client’s will. And to my grasping nephew Smith: I always said I’d mention you in my will, so… Hi, Smith!

Advice of dentist. Treat your girl friend like a toothbrush. Don’t let any body else use it, and get a new one every three months.

Problem with boys: They make you think they love you, when they don’t. Problem with girls: They make you think they don’t love you, when they do.

If a beautiful woman goes for a walk every morning… she can improve the health of at least 10 men.

If time doesn’t wait for you, don’t worry! Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!