A women’s prayer: Dear Lord

Man meets friend and notices he’s wearing an earring. When did you start wearing earrings? Friend: Ever since my wife found it in my car.

What is love? In Math, it’s a problem. In History, it’s a battle. In Science, it’s a reaction. In Art, it’s a heart.

I heard that good looks can kill. So, please don’t look at me. . .. … I don’t wanna see you die!

Everything about you is perfect – your lips, your skin, your eyes, your body. Perfect! You are lucky to be born beautiful, not like me, who was born to be a big liar.

Acquaintance: So have you sold anything since you took up writing full-time? Writer: Yes. My car, the TV and a couple of items of jewellery…

What is the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu? For Bird Flu you need tweetment and for Swine Flu you need oinkment.