Today if anyone praises you

Girl: What are you doing? Boy: I was working with The Times of India but now I left. Girl: Oh god, why? Boy: It’s very difficult to get up early in the morning everyday and distribute newspapers

It’s really weird that a woman who can spot a hair on your coat from 10 yards can’t see a pair of garage doors!

Come, work for the Lord.The work is hard, the hours long and the pay is low.But the retirement benefits are out of this world.

Attitude of girls: When a boy sends dirty ‘SMS’, She laughs for 10 minutes, Forwards that to her friends, And then replies the boy. Mind it, I don’t like that kind of ‘SMS’?

The first half of our lives is spent ignoring our parents’ advice and the second half in trying to keep our children from ignoring ours.

Cop: Sir, what’s in the bottle next to you? Driver: It’s water. Cop: Sir, this is wine. Driver: What? Jesus! He did it again!