Telling a lie is a fault for

Problem with boys: They make you think they love you, when they don’t. Problem with girls: They make you think they don’t love you, when they do.

Dear Whisky, Before I started drinking, I was made to believe that you make a person funnier, smarter and a better dancer. I saw the video. I was looking stupid. We need to talk!

Customer: There is only one piece of meat in my plate. Waiter: Don’t worry, Sir! I will cut it in two.

Love me, and I will move mountains to make you happy. Hurt me, and I’ll drop those mountains on your head.

Heart: I’m going on emotional strike. I’ll no longer produce any feelings without proper compensation.

Mom: Andy, where are you off to now? Son: I’m gonna join the army. Mom: But, legally you are only an infant. Son: That’s all right, I’m going to join the infantry.