I was trying to say something

While in bed after few years of marriage, husband and wife’s HIPS meet each other more often than LIPS….

Marriage is so hard that even Nelson Mandela got a divorce. He spent 27 years in South Africa prison getting tortured and beaten everyday of his life for 27 straight years. He got out of jail, spent 6 months with his wife, and said I cant take this shit!

A woman learning to drive to her husband, But I don’t know what to do! Husband: Just imagine that I’m driving!

What’s the difference between divorce and legal separation? In legal separation, the husband gets time to hide his money!

Wife: If I die first, I want you to promise to let my mother ride in the first car with you at the funeral procession. Husband: OK, but it will totally ruin my day!

Husband standing on the scale, holding his stomach in. Wife: I do not think that is going to help. Husband: Sure it does. How else could I see the numbers?