Wife: Honey, before we got married, you used to give me gifts and expensive jewelry. Husband: Yes… so? Wife: How come you don’t do it anymore? Husband: Have you ever seen a fisherman give worms to the fish after catching it!
The person who invented marriage was creepy as Hell. Otherwise how can a person really think of such weird thing like, Hey! yo I love you so much. I’m gonna get the government involved so that you can’t leave me.
Wife: If I die first, I want you to promise to let my mother ride in the first car with you at the funeral procession. Husband: OK, but it will totally ruin my day!