Two men are talking. 1st: I got married because I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry and wearing shabby clothes. 2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons!
Son: Mummy, do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once upon a time?’ Mummy: No sometimes they start with, ‘Darling, I have to work a little late at the office tonight!’