2 friends met after a long time

A retired sergeant was asked: Well, how do you like civilian life? Terrible, he said gruffly, all those people around and nobody in charge!

The world’s ending and we still don’t know as to who let the dogs out, what is love and who the fuck is Alice? And the guys don’t even know about Victoria’s Secret Damn it!

Girl anounced her engagement. Father: Does this fellow have any money? Girl: Oh! Daddy, you men are all alike, that’s exactly what he asked me about you!

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me eight times, You are probably a woman.

Remember to remember me, forget to forget me. Even if you try to remember to forget me, I’ll never forget to remember to remind you to remember me.

Beggar: I’m the author of a book called 150 Methods to Become Rich. Man: Then why are you begging? Beggar: This is one of the best methods!