A hotel guest to the manager

Q: How do you know when a woman is going to say something intelligent? A: When she starts her sentence with, ‘My husband told me.’

Only two types of communications are the fastest in the world . .. … From email to email, And female to female.

At a party, someone yelled: All married guys please stand next to one person who has made your life worth living. The bartender was almost crushed to death.

Little birds in the sky, You look up and it shits in your eye. You don’t mind and you don’t cry, You just thank God that cows don’t fly.

A brain walks into a bar and says, I’ll have a pint of beer please. The barman looks at him and says, Sorry, I can’t serve you. Why not?, asks the brain. The barman retorts, Because you’re already out of your head.

Dear Internet Users, One day you will really regret not reading me. Sincerely, Terms and Conditions.