A solicitor is reading out his client’s

Biscuit maker’s love letter: Dear Marie yesterday was a very Good Day, our meeting was truely Nice, but the chance of our Love is 50-50 because your dad is a Tiger. Will you give your Littlr Heart 2 me? Otherwise I’ll become a Krack-Jack

I’m unable to answer my mobile phone at the moment, but if you leave a message, the News of the World will email it to me later.

It takes 15 trees to produce the amount of paper that we use to write one exam. Join us in promoting the noble cause of saving trees. SAY NO TO EXAMS

You should do two things in the morning…Pray to God so you can live and have a shower so others can live.

What is the height of flirting? It’s When your love letter starts with: TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN

Three dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks. To be as rich as his child believes. To have as many women as his wife suspects