At 18 a lady is like a football

Eyes: To look at you, Hands: To pray for you, Mind: To care for you, Heart: To love you and Legs: To kick you if you forget me.

A girl returned home from a party and told her mother a young man had kissed her. How many times did he kiss you? asked her mother. Looking up into his face, the girl replied: Mother, I came to confess, not to boast!

The boss went up to the bartender and asked, Have you been fooling around with the waitress? Oh no, sir, I sure haven’t, replied the bartender. The boss replied, Good, then you fire her!

Girl anounced her engagement. Father: Does this fellow have any money? Girl: Oh! Daddy, you men are all alike, that’s exactly what he asked me about you!

If ever in your life you are very sad and feel that you have lost everything, I’ll come, hold your hand, take you for walk on a bridge and show you where to jump from.

Beauty isn’t measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!