Doctor, cut off my dog’s tail.
Doctor: Why do you want to do that?
Because my mom-in-law is visiting us and I don’t want anything to make her think she’s welcomed.
No matter how high the sky is, how deep the ocean is, how strong the wind is, how wide the river is, I just wanna tell you… it’s none of your business.
At a party, someone yelled: All married guys please stand next to one person who has made your life worth living. The bartender was almost crushed to death.