Enter your hands in between

Dear Internet Users, One day you will really regret not reading me. Sincerely, Terms and Conditions.

Customer: Your dog seems very fond of watching you cut my hair. Barber: Quite right, Sir! Sometimes, I snip off customers’ ears.

Girl: I fell in love with him at second sight. Friend: Never heard of love at second sight? Girl: At first sight, he was crossing the road and on the second sight, he got into his Audi!

Man meets friend and notices he’s wearing an earring. When did you start wearing earrings? Friend: Ever since my wife found it in my car.

A guy just yelled at me for texting and driving. I told him to get off my hood and mind his own business.

A doting father used to sing his little children to sleep until he overheard the four-year-old tell the three year old, If you pretend you’re asleep, he stops.