Getting married on a Friday

Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age, But will kill you if you forget their birthday!

Doctor: You are in good health. You’ll live to be 80. Patient: But doctor, I am 80 right now. Doctor: See, what did I tell you.

First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to zip up your fly, and then you forget to unzip your fly.

I want to share everything with you. Your JOYS, Your SADNESS, Your HAPPY MOMENTS, every single second of day. Let us start with your ATM Password first.

McDonalds: The best place to breakup with your girlfriend. There are no sharp knives, forks or heavy plates and you can always hide behind a fat kid!

A blonde was riding on a train and reading the newspaper. The headline said: 12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed. She shook her head at the sad news, then turned to the passenger next to her and asked: How many is a brazilian?