Extremely Important News

Q: What’s the different between mother and wife? A: One woman brings into the world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.

Thief: Quick, the police are coming, jump out of the window. Accomplice: Bt we are on the 13th floor. Thief: You idiot, this is no time to be superstitious

Dear Whisky, Before I started drinking, I was made to believe that you make a person funnier, smarter and a better dancer. I saw the video. I was looking stupid. We need to talk!

I hate when people tell me to relax. If it was that easy, don’t you think I would have done that already?

3 Apples changed the world: 1st one seduced Eve, 2nd awakened Newton and the 3rd one Apple iphone.

Unlike others your brain is a masterpiece. In the left half, nothing is right and in the right half, nothing is left.