I heard that good looks can kill

When one door closes, another door opens. That’s when you realize that . .. … you bought a really bad second hand car!

Liz: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests! Doctor: Don’t worry about it. You’ll pass eventually. Liz: I’m the examiner!

Doctor, cut off my dog’s tail. Doctor: Why do you want to do that? Because my mom-in-law is visiting us and I don’t want anything to make her think she’s welcomed.

Do you remember the day we travelled in a car? I put my dog out of the window, you put your face out, then people started shouting ‘TWINS TWINS’

The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut!

The boss got out of a BMW 5 series and a junior employee remarked, Wow Boss, That’s Great! The boss said, If you also work hard, be punctual, put in more hours of work during the weekends and take fewer holidays, I’ll be able to buy an even better car next year!