I heard that good looks can kill

The boss went up to the bartender and asked, Have you been fooling around with the waitress? Oh no, sir, I sure haven’t, replied the bartender. The boss replied, Good, then you fire her!

Good Morning… Kindly observe silence for two minutes in the memory of those poor mosquitoes who died last night after sucking your blood. Thanks

Height of hygiene: A computer student washing his hands with Dettol after removing a virus from his system.

My goal is to be a failure! If I reach my goal, I’ll be successful and if I don’t reach my goal, I’ll still be successful.

Enter PASSWORD to touch my heart, WRONG Password! You have touched my feet. Anyway, God Bless You!

Judge to pickpocket: Didn’t you notice the wallet you pocketed was someone else’s ? Pickpocket: I did indeed, your honor! But the money looked so familiar.