The tagline outside a photo studio

A software engineer was smoking. Girl: Didnt you see the warning? Smoking is injurious to health. Er.: We bother only about errors and not warnings.

Telling a lie is a fault for a little boy, an art for a lover, an accomplishment for a bachelor and a Matter of Survival for a married man. Good Luck!

It takes patience to keep a nagging wife, fortune to keep an ambitious wife, four eyes to keep a pretty wife.

I’m unable to answer my mobile phone at the moment, but if you leave a message, the News of the World will email it to me later.

What’s the difference between wife and neighbours wife? Wife is a chocolate, can have any time. Neighbour’s wife is like an ice-cream, should have immediately.

When asked if he was prepared to support a family, the new son-in-law answered, ‘I’m sorry, I was only planning on providing for your daughter. The rest of you will have to support yourselves.’