I said to a fat girl today

Boss to his Friend: The times are really bad… my Secretary resigned yesterday. Friend: Why? Boss: She caught me kissing my wife!

I want you to be with me in a nice restaurant to have Candle Light Dinner and say those three sweet words to you….Pay The Bill.

The world’s ending and we still don’t know as to who let the dogs out, what is love and who the fuck is Alice? And the guys don’t even know about Victoria’s Secret Damn it!

Boy: Are You Single? Girl: No, I’m Plural. Boy: No, I mean, are you free this Friday? Girl: No, I’m expensive!

Reverse dynamics: When a man becomes rich he becomes naughty and when a woman becomes naughty…. she becomes rich.

A brain walks into a bar and says, I’ll have a pint of beer please. The barman looks at him and says, Sorry, I can’t serve you. Why not?, asks the brain. The barman retorts, Because you’re already out of your head.