Most of my friends are normal

The boss got out of a BMW 5 series and a junior employee remarked, Wow Boss, That’s Great! The boss said, If you also work hard, be punctual, put in more hours of work during the weekends and take fewer holidays, I’ll be able to buy an even better car next year!

If anyone is having a bad day, remember that today in 1976 Ronald Wayne sold his 10% stake in Apple for $800. Now it’s worth $58,065,210,000.

A motorist was helping his extremely fat victim to rise. Couldn’t you have gone around me? growled the victim. Sorry, said the motorist, sadly. I wasn’t sure whether I had enough gasoline!

Steve Jobs’ last words: Please note that . .. iPill is not our product and iPad is not a sanitary napkin!

A guy went for an interview at a big IT company today for the position of a Computer Hacker. The boss asked him, So, what makes you suitable for this job? Well, he replied, I hacked into your computer and invited myself to this interview!

Did you hear about the crossword puzzle addict who died and was buried six feet down and three feet across!