The difference between a pigeon

Unlike others your brain is a masterpiece. In the left half, nothing is right and in the right half, nothing is left.

A rich blonde girl, was walking by the river in the wild. Suddenly, she saw a crocodile. She screamed, ‘Oh my God! Help! Lacoste!’

Steve Jobs’ last words: Please note that . .. iPill is not our product and iPad is not a sanitary napkin!

Cop: Sir, what’s in the bottle next to you? Driver: It’s water. Cop: Sir, this is wine. Driver: What? Jesus! He did it again!

In the morning I don’t eat because I think of you, at noon I don’t eat because I think of you, in the evening I don’t eat because I think of you, at night I don’t sleep because I am hungry

Message by a confused alarm clock: Dear Humans, . . .. You get mad when I wake you up, and you also get mad when I don’t wake you. So what is that you exactly want from ME?