The first half of our lives is spent ignoring our parents’ advice and the second half in trying to keep our children from ignoring ours.
A newly wedded desperate soldier sends a hand-grenade to his mother-in-law, with a note: Dearest Mom, If you pull this ring, I’ll be able to get 3 days leave.
When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart, when tears flow in your eyes, always remember three things: I’m with you, you have money and Bar is open
Colour of your underwear reflects your mood: Red: Wild Black: Sexy Blue: Romantic Pink: Seductive White: Calm Yellow: Time to change it…
Two friends were attending a boring lecture. 1st friend: It’s so boring, even my bum has fallen asleep. 2nd friend: I know, I heard it snoring 3 times.
Aftr robbing the Bank, robber 2 clerk: Did you see me robbing? Clerk: Yes. Robber shot him dead and asked the next clerk: Did u? 2nd clerk: No, But my wife saw u!
Someday your prince charming will come.Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.