The way petrol prices are increasing

Come like a sprinter, Sit like a yogi, And go like a king. . .. … …. It’s not about life… This was written on a toilet door!

It’s really weird that a woman who can spot a hair on your coat from 10 yards can’t see a pair of garage doors!

The boss went up to the bartender and asked, Have you been fooling around with the waitress? Oh no, sir, I sure haven’t, replied the bartender. The boss replied, Good, then you fire her!

In ancient Greece, throwing an apple at a woman was considered a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL. This tradition still continues – throw an apple (iPhone5) and she will say YES!

Little birds in the sky, You look up and it shits in your eye. You don’t mind and you don’t cry, You just thank God that cows don’t fly.

Do you remember the day we travelled in a car? I put my dog out of the window, you put your face out, then people started shouting ‘TWINS TWINS’