World’s shortest jokes

A Guy picks up a girl for the date. Why are you wearing your belt around your knee.? Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn’t let you touch me below my belt.

Once upon a time a guy asked a girl: Will you marry me? She replied: No! And the guy lived happily ever after.

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that she looks extremely beautiful when her lips are closed !

A doctor implanted a new ear in a patient. Man: Wat you did 2 me, you gave me a woman’s ear. Doctor: It makes no difference, both are the same. Man: No, it does. Now I can hear everything but understand nothing.

The reason women love military men? It’s NOT the uniform. They can cook, clean, make beds and sew, but above all: they know how to follow orders.

So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow and sure!