Friend: How’s your sex life?
Man: As usual, Monday to Friday.
Friend: What about the weekends?
Man: Weekends? Oh! That time I’m at home, relaxing with my wife !
Wife: There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor. Hubby: Water in the carburetor? That’s ridiculous. Wife: I tell you the car has water in the carburetor. Hubby: You don’t even know what a carburetor is. I’ll check it out. Where’s the car? Wife: In the pool.
If men behave after marriage the way they do before it, half the divorces won’t take place. On the other hand, if women behave before marriage the way they do after it, half the marriages won’t take place!