Friend: How’s your sex life?
Man: As usual, Monday to Friday.
Friend: What about the weekends?
Man: Weekends? Oh! That time I’m at home, relaxing with my wife !
The difference between a husband and childbirth is that one can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable, while the other is just having a baby!
Two soldiers were having a chat during their free time. 1st Soldier: Why did you join the army? 2nd Soldier: I didn’t have a wife and I loved war. So I joined. How about you? Why did you join the army? 1st Soldier: I joined because I had a wife and I loved peace!
The person who invented marriage was creepy as Hell. Otherwise how can a person really think of such weird thing like, Hey! yo I love you so much. I’m gonna get the government involved so that you can’t leave me.