That You are a MALE and MARRIED

Wife: I should have married a devil. Even, he would have made a better husband than you. Husband: But honey, marriage between relatives is morally considered wrong in our culture!

Wife: I think… Husband: Exactly! Wife: But I haven’t said anything yet! Husband: Doesn’t matter… You are right!

Wife: If I die first, I want you to promise to let my mother ride in the first car with you at the funeral procession. Husband: OK, but it will totally ruin my day!

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

Wife: You had lunch? Husband: You had lunch? Wife: I’m asking you. Husband: I’m asking you. Wife: Are you copying me? Husband: Are you copying me? Wife: I love you. Husband: I had lunch!

I tried Internet dating, but I quickly realized it wasn’t for me when they matched me up with my wife!