I tried Internet dating

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he’ll fall asleep before you finish.

God thought that since He couldn’t be everywhere so He made a mother. Then devil thought that He couldn’t be everywhere so he made a mother-in-law.

There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage

Wife: I think… Husband: Exactly! Wife: But I haven’t said anything yet! Husband: Doesn’t matter… You are right!

Women’s Logic: If he is not on FaceBook, He must be with that Bitch! . .. If he is on Facebook, He must be chatting with that Bitch!

Son: Mummy, do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once upon a time?’ Mummy: No sometimes they start with, ‘Darling, I have to work a little late at the office tonight!’